An American Prophet

Bill Kristol wrote his first column for the New York Times today, and as my loyal reader(s) might know, I am not a big fan. So from now until I tire of it or he gets shit canned again, I think I'm going to dedicate a post here for every column he writes. I will try to just cover the major points though so as not to write a novel each time.

His first one is mostly an ode to Huckabee. He first thanks Obama for beating Hillary and protecting us from another Clinton presidency, not to bad so far. Then he frets about the possibility of Obama actually being president. A liberal democrat, in the White House! Everybody's worst nightmare! The return of the welfare queens! He will foil our plans to overturn roe v wade via Supreme Court appointments! He will leave Iraq just as we are starting to win!

He then finds solace in the prediction that Huckabee will beat Obama by using wedge issues of gay marriage, abortion, and gun control. I think he forgot to mention flag burning.

Then he devotes a few paragraphs to his astute insight that Americans, even Republicans!, want a regular guy as president, you know, one you would like to have a beer with.

His next groundbreaking insight? People who vote like to make up their own mind, especially this year.

He also managed to find one of the rarest of endangered species: a "secular...Republican", and quote them as saying about Huckabee “Gee, he’s not some kind of crazy Christian. He’s an ordinary American.” after watching him play bass with 'Mama Kicks'. It's the kind of dialog I'm sure you hear all the time at a college music shindig. Radical!

Even if Humperdink doesn't have what it takes to beat Obama on his own, Kristol is sure that NYC mayor Michael Bloomberg will run in the event of a Huckabee-Obama contest. The reasons he will should be self-evident. If you don't know what they are then I'm not going to tell you.